Facing your own inadequacy

Feelings of inadequacy plague us all and these feelings, evoked by egoic thought patterns and beliefs, can play a significant role in causing low mood, laboured motivation, undeservedness, excuses and worry.

There was a period where feelings of inadequacy featured heavily in my inner work.

I came to see that my ego held a belief that my working hard would bear little fruit by comparison to the level of work I imagine I would need to put in. At the same time, I held a belief that I must suffer to deserve what I want but even then, it may not come.

So, to avoid the pain of disappointment (which is salt to the wound of inadequacy) my egoic patterns would show up to save the day. They would provide very convincing arguments for procrastinating on doing what I needed to for the 'big wins'. Instead, it would stick with old familiar patterns of working hard while believing deep down the desired results weren't coming.

It became a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling excuses and poor beliefs that only served to reinforce one thing, that I could never do enough. Whatever I did would be inadequate, I was inadequate.

And as if the exhausting cycle of hard work with no satisfying end wasn't enough, it in part, it caused chronic burnout. This resulted in a 'pain' response for my mind, meaning, the vast web of memories associated with work and ultimately burnout, were filed away for future reference to ensure that same pain was never experienced again.

My Ego was ultimately loaded up with all kinds of warning signals for anything that would bear close resemblance to 'work', taking on somewhat of a new persona to deal with these new conditions.

And all of this was simply the mind doing exactly what it is meant to do, protect us from pain and harm.

But it was a confusing and sometimes frustrating time to be in. My Ego wanted to avoid anything work related but would still be playing the old tune of needing to do more/be productive to feel adequate.

I felt stuck, unable to get out of my own way. A double edge sword where I'm exhausted and even sickened by the prospect of 'working', but still able to see a spark of desire for what I wanted in life.

Wanting the money, purpose, freedom and all the goodies life has to offer (as we all do) but unable to conjure up the courage to work for it because the experience of burnout and inadequacy was too raw.

What I could carve out during this confusing time though was the fact that my feeling adequate, was in no way reversed by gaining recognition for my wisdom, talents or work I would create from these. I could see pleasing others or the inner critic with these qualities alone, was not the fuel of an everlasting career nor everlasting fulfilment.

The right fuel is pure creation of the content as an extension of me. Not content created for external validation of its uniqueness, importance or supposed value or superiority because these are what the Ego seeks for a sense adequacy.

True inner peace and feeling adequate are found from within those moments created from the heart, wisdom that speaks through me and through us all. Content that is created through no other means than that of alignment with your true nature.

My message here is to extend great love to yourself, let it all go, let it all be that which does not serve you.

Ignore the voice within your head that will have you procrastinate and make excuses for why it won't work. Create as if you were the only one to be pleased, for that is all that's needed to feel adequate, completely worthy and valuable.

You know what is in your flow, you know the ideas as they sit with you, you know what feels right. Follow the impulses and trust in the outcome.